:

DE sign:
(Deconstructing in-order to find new meanings)

A blogging space about my personal interests; was made during training in Stockholm #Young Leaders Visitors Program #Ylvp08 it developed into a social bookmarking blog.

I studied #Architecture; interested in #Design #Art #Education #Urban Design #Digital-media #social-media #Inhabited-Environments #Contemporary-Cultures #experimentation #networking #sustainability & more =)


Please Enjoy, feedback recommended.

p.s. sharing is usually out of interest not Blind praise.
This is neither sacred nor political.

Thursday, December 27

Beware neuro-bunk

Molly Crockett: Beware neuro-bunk

My immigration story

Tan Le: My immigration story

Listening to shame

Brené Brown: Listening to shame



I'm going to tell you a little bit about my TEDxHouston Talk. I woke up the morning after I gave that Talk with the worst vulnerability hangover of my life. And I actually didn't leave my house for about three days.
The first time I left was to meet a friend for lunch. And when I walked in, she was already at the table. And I sat down, and she said, "God, you look like hell." I said, "Thanks. I feel really -- I'm not functioning." And she said, "What's going on?" And I said, "I just told 500 people that I became a researcher to avoid vulnerability. And that when being vulnerableemerged from my data, as absolutely essential to whole-hearted living, I told these 500 people that I had a breakdown. I had a slide that said Breakdown. At what point did I think that was a good idea?" (Laughter)
And she said, "I saw your Talk live-streamed. It was not really you. It was a little different than what you usually do. But it was great." And I said, "This can't happen. YouTube, they're putting this thing on YouTube. And we're going to be talking about 600, 700 people."(Laughter) And she said, "Well, I think it's too late."
And I said, "Let me ask you something." And she said, "Yeah." And I said, "Do you remember when we were in college and really wild and kind of dumb?" And she said, "Yeah." And I said, "Remember when we'd leave a really bad message on our ex-boyfriend's answering machine? Then we'd have to break into his dorm room and then erase the tape?"(Laughter) And she goes, "Uh ... no." (Laughter) So of course, the only thing I could think of to say at that point was, "Yeah, me neither. That ... me neither."
And I'm thinking to myself, "Brene, what are you doing? What are you doing? Why did you bring this up? Have you lost your mind? Your sisters would be perfect for this." So I looked back up and she said, "Are you really going to try to break in and steal the video before they put it on YouTube?" And I said, "I'm just thinking about it a little bit." (Laughter) She said, "You're like the worst vulnerability role model ever." (Laughter) And then I looked at her and I said something that at the time felt a little dramatic, but ended up being more prophetic than dramatic. I said, "If 500 turns into 1,000 or 2,000, my life is over." (Laughter) I had no contingency plan for four million.
(Laughter)
And my life did end when that happened. And maybe the hardest part about my life endingis that I learned something hard about myself, and that was that, as much as I would frustrated about not being able to get my work out to the world, there was a part of me that was working very hard to engineer staying small, staying right under the radar. But I want to talk about what I've learned.
There's two things that I've learned in the last year. The first is vulnerability is not weakness.And that myth is profoundly dangerous. Let me ask you honestly -- and I'll give you this warning, I'm trained as a therapist, so I can out-wait you uncomfortably -- so if you could just raise your hand that would be awesome -- how many of you honestly, when you're thinking about doing something vulnerable or saying something vulnerable, think, "God, vulnerability's weakness. This is weakness?" How many of you think of vulnerability and weakness synonymously? The majority of people. Now let me ask you this question: This past week at TED, how many of you, when you saw vulnerability up here, thought it was pure courage? Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk,exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives. And I've come to the belief -- this is my 12th year doing this research -- that vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage --to be vulnerable, to let ourselves be seen, to be honest.
One of the weird things that's happened is, after the TED explosion, I got a lot of offers to speak all over the country -- everyone from schools and parent meetings to Fortune 500 companies. And so many of the calls went like this, "Hey, Dr. Brown. We loved your TEDTalk. We'd like you to come in and speak. We'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mention vulnerability or shame." (Laughter) What would you like for me to talk about? There's three big answers. This is mostly, to be honest with you, from the business sector: innovation, creativity and change. So let me go on the record and say, vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change. (Applause) To create is to make something that has never existed before. There's nothing more vulnerable than that. Adaptability to change is all about vulnerability.
The second thing, in addition to really finally understanding the relationship between vulnerability and courage, the second thing I learned is this: We have to talk about shame.And I'm going to be really honest with you. When I became a "vulnerability researcher" and that became the focus because of the TEDTalk -- and I'm not kidding.
I'll give you an example. About three months ago, I was in a sporting goods store buying goggles and shin guards and all the things that parents buy at the sporting goods store.About from a hundred feet away, this is what I hear: "Vulnerability TED! Vulnerability TED!"(Laughter) I'm a fifth generation Texan. Our family motto is "Lock and load." I am not a natural vulnerability researcher. So I'm like, just keep walking, she's on my six. (Laughter)And then I hear, "Vulnerability TED!" I turn around, I go, "Hi." She's right here and she said,"You're the shame researcher who had the breakdown." (Laughter) At this point parents are, like, pulling their children close. "Look away." And I'm so worn out at this point in my life, I look at her and I actually say, "It was a frickin' spiritual awakening."
(Laughter)
(Applause)
And she looks back and does this, "I know." And she said, "We watched your TEDTalk in my book club. Then we read your book and we renamed ourselves 'The Breakdown Babes.'"And she said, "Our tagline is: 'We're falling apart and it feels fantastic.'" (Laughter) You can only imagine what it's like for me in a faculty meeting.
So when I became Vulnerability TED, like an action figure -- like Ninja Barbie, but I'm Vulnerability TED -- I thought, I'm going to leave that shame stuff behind, because I spent six years studying shame before I really started writing and talking about vulnerability. And I thought, thank God, because shame is this horrible topic, no one wants to talk about it. It's the best way to shut people down on an airplane. "What do you do?" "I study shame." "Oh."(Laughter) And I see you. (Laughter)
But in surviving this last year, I was reminded of a cardinal rule -- not a research rule, but a moral imperative from my upbringing -- you've got to dance with the one who brung ya. And I did not learn about vulnerability and courage and creativity and innovation from studying vulnerability. I learned about these things from studying shame. And so I want to walk you into shame. Jungian analysts call shame the swampland of the soul. And we're going to walk in. And the purpose is not to walk in and construct a home and live there. It is to put on some galoshes and walk through and find our way around. Here's why.
We heard the most compelling call ever to have a conversation in this country, and I think globally, around race, right? Yes? We heard that. Yes? Cannot have that conversation without shame, because you cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame. We heard a brilliant simple solution to not killing people in surgery, which is have a checklist. You can't fix that problem without addressing shame, because when they teach those folks how to suture,they also teach them how to stitch their self-worth to being all-powerful. And all-powerful folks don't need checklists.
And I had to write down the name of this TED Fellow so I didn't mess it up here. Myshkin Ingawale, I hope I did right by you. (Applause) I saw the TED Fellows my first day here. And he got up and he explained how he was driven to create some technology to help test for anemia because people were dying unnecessarily. And he said, "I saw this need. So you know what I did? I made it." And everybody just burst into applause, and they were like "Yes!" And he said, "And it didn't work. And then I made it 32 more times, and then it worked."
You know what the big secret about TED is? I can't wait to tell people this. I guess I'm doing it right now. (Laughter) This is like the failure conference. No, it is. (Applause) You know why this place is amazing? Because very few people here are afraid to fail. And no one who gets on the stage, so far that I've seen, has not failed. I've failed miserably, many times. I don't think the world understands that because of shame.
There's a great quote that saved me this past year by Theodore Roosevelt. A lot of people refer to it as the "Man in the Arena" quote. And it goes like this: "It is not the critic who counts. It is not the man who sits and points out how the doer of deeds could have done things better and how he falls and stumbles. The credit goes to the man in the arena whose face is marred with dust and blood and sweat. But when he's in the arena, at best he wins,and at worst he loses, but when he fails, when he loses, he does so daring greatly."
And that's what this conference, to me, is about. That's what life is about, about daring greatly, about being in the arena. When you walk up to that arena and you put your hand on the door, and you think, "I'm going in and I'm going to try this," shame is the gremlin who says, "Uh, uh. You're not good enough. You never finished that MBA. Your wife left you. I know your dad really wasn't in Luxembourg, he was in Sing Sing. I know those things that happened to you growing up. I know you don't think that you're pretty enough or smart enough or talented enough or powerful enough. I know your dad never paid attention, even when you made CFO." Shame is that thing.
And if we can quiet it down and walk in and say, "I'm going to do this," we look up and the critic that we see pointing and laughing, 99 percent of the time is who? Us. Shame drives two big tapes -- "never good enough" and, if you can talk it out of that one, "who do you think you are?" The thing to understand about shame is it's not guilt. Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is "I am bad." Guilt is "I did something bad." How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing to say, "I'm sorry. I made a mistake?" How many of you would be willing to say that? Guilt: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I'm sorry. I am a mistake.
There's a huge difference between shame and guilt. And here's what you need to know.Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. And here's what you even need to know more. Guilt, inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we've done or failed to do up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It's uncomfortable, but it's adaptive.
The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender. If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same. Everyone sitting in here knows the warm wash of shame. We're pretty sure that the only people who don't experience shame are people who have no capacity for connection or empathy. Which means, yes, I have a little shame; no, I'm a sociopath. So I would opt for, yes, you have a little shame. Shame feels the same for men and women, but it's organized by gender.
For women, the best example I can give you is Enjoli the commercial: "I can put the wash on the line, pack the lunches, hand out the kisses and be at work at five to nine. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let you forget you're a man." For women, shame is do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat. I don't know how much perfume that commercial sold, but I guarantee you, it moved a lot of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds. (Laughter) Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be. And it's a straight-jacket.
For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations. Shame is one, do not be perceived as what? Weak. I did not interview men for the first four years of my study.And it wasn't until a man looked at me one day after a book signing, said, "I love what you have to say about shame, I'm curious why you didn't mention men." And I said, "I don't study men." And he said, "That's convenient." (Laughter) And I said, "Why?" And he said, "Because you say to reach out, tell our story, be vulnerable. But you see those books you just signed for my wife and my three daughters?" I said, "Yeah." "They'd rather me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall down. When we reach out and be vulnerable we get the shit beat out of us. And don't tell me it's from the guys and the coaches and the dads, because the women in my life are harder on me than anyone else."
So I started interviewing men and asking questions. And what I learned is this: You show me a woman who can actually sit with a man in real vulnerability and fear, I'll show you a woman who's done incredible work. You show me a man who can sit with a woman who's just had it, she can't do it all anymore, and his first response is not, "I unloaded the dishwasher," but he really listens -- because that's all we need -- I'll show you a guy who's done a lot of work.
Shame is an epidemic in our culture. And to get out from underneath it, to find our way back to each other, we have to understand how it affects us and how it affects the way we're parenting, the way we're working, the way we're looking at each other. Very quickly, some research by Mahalik at Boston College. He asked, what do women need to do to conform to female norms? The top answers in this country: nice, thin, modest and use all available resources for appearance. When he asked about men, what do men in this country need to do to conform with male norms, the answers were: always show emotional control, work is first, pursue status and violence.
If we're going to find our way back to each other, we have to understand and know empathy,because empathy's the antidote to shame. If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive. The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too.
And so I'll leave you with this thought. If we're going to find our way back to each other,vulnerability is going to be that path. And I know it's seductive to stand outside the arena,because I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself, I'm going to go in there and kick some ass when I'm bulletproof and when I'm perfect. And that is seductive. But the truth is that never happens. And even if you got as perfect as you could and as bulletproof as you could possibly muster when you got in there, that's not what we want to see. We want you to go in. We want to be with you and across from you. And we just want, for ourselves and the people we care about and the people we work with, to dare greatly.
So thank you all very much. I really appreciate it.
(Applause)

Women, wartime and the dream of peace

Zainab Salbi: Women, wartime and the dream of peace

Art in exile

Shirin Naeshat: Art in exile

"Women of Hope"

Morley sings "Women of Hope"

Poems of war, peace, women, power

Suheir Hammad: Poems of war, peace, women, power

Wednesday, November 7

Coping With Change

COPING WITH CHANGE

Managing Your Emotions and Expectations


"He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery."
– Harold Wilson, British politician
  

How much change have you experienced in the last year?
Perhaps you've had to learn a complicated new software system. You may have taken on new team members, or a new role. Or you might have gone through a merger or an acquisition.
Change is routine in today's workplace. And, no matter what you do, you probably can't – or shouldn't – try to stop it.
However, you can choose how you react to it.
If you can embrace and cope with change, you'll be valued highly in your organization. You'll be seen as a flexible and adaptable team player, and this reputation can open up many opportunities. If, however, you consistently resist change, you'll be seen as "part of the problem," and you'll get left behind.
In this article, we'll look at why coping with change is so important, and we'll discuss a framework that you can use to deal with it more effectively.

THE IMPORTANCE OF COPING
So, what is coping? One formal definition says that it's a "process by which an individual attempts to minimize the negative emotions that arise from the experience of negative events." Another defines coping as "cognitive and behavioral efforts to deal with experiences that tax or exceed one's resources."
Put simply, coping describes the way that we think about and deal with stressful events.
Importantly, it's often your attitude towards change that determines your emotions and your experience of it. Some people view change positively, and see it as an exciting opportunity to learn and grow. Others see change negatively, as something to fear and to avoid.
It's important to know how to cope with change, because there's so much of it about. Organizations are continuously shifting, growing, downsizing, merging, and acquiring people and resources. Developments in technology mean that we need to learn new ways of working and communicating. We also need to know how to cope with smaller changes, such as getting to know a new team member, or learning new standards in a particular industry.
People who resist change will likely find themselves overlooked for important projects, passed over for promotions, or left behind entirely. The inability to cope with change can also lead to great stress, and other negative physical and psychological effects.

HOW TO COPE WITH CHANGE

Change can bring amazing opportunities, or it can bring defeat. It can lift an entire team up, or it can lead people to find other employment.
Researchers Mel Fugate, Angelo J. Kinicki, and Gregory E. Prussia argue that there are two major types of coping strategies: "control coping" and "escape coping."

"Control coping" is positive and proactive. You refuse to feel like a victim of change, instead you take charge and do whatever you can to be part of the solution, including managing your feelings.
"Escape coping" is based on avoidance. You experience thoughts and emotions, or take specific actions, that help you avoid the difficulties of change. For instance, you might deliberately miss training classes, or show up too late to attend a meeting about the upcoming change.

People can use both strategies simultaneously when coping with change. However, as you can imagine, control coping is the best option to choose, because it puts you in a position of positive control. Here, you proactively search for a way to be a part of the solution, instead of reacting to, and avoiding, the change.

TRANSACTIONAL MODEL OF STRESS AND COPING

So, how can you put yourself in control?
Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman give us a useful way of doing this with their "Transactional Model of Stress and Coping". You can use this simple approach to look objectively at the change situation you're experiencing, and analyze what you can do to respond to it effectively.
There are three stages in this model:
1.            Primary appraisal.
2.            Secondary appraisal.
3.            Coping efforts.
Let's look at each of these stages in greater detail, and think about how this can help you deal with change.
1. Primary Appraisal
In your primary appraisal, you evaluate the event and its significance to you, your unique situation, and your sense of well-being. You're answering the question "Is this change going to affect you in a positive or a negative way?"
A major part of coping with change is deciding whether the change represents a threat: at this initial stage, you might not be sure what risks or opportunities this change poses for you. Conduct a SWOT Analysis to identify the possible threats and opportunities that you will face or experience. Next, conduct a Risk Analysis to get a better sense of the risks that you might experience in this situation.
It can also be helpful to conduct an Impact Analysis to identify the positive and negative consequences of the change you're facing. Does it threaten your expert status or your job, or is the impact smaller? Or will this change make your work easier or enhance your skills? You'll feel more in control and informed when you know both the positive and negative consequences, and this will also guide your actions in the next step.
It can often be useful to talk informally about what you're feeling – remember that it usually helps to have social support in these situations. It's also important to manage your emotions. Try not to take negative feelings out on others, and use techniques like thought awareness to keep control of your emotions.
And keep in mind that not all change is bad – often, it can be a very good thing! Try to get excited about what's coming.

2. Secondary Appraisal

Once you've determined how this change is going to affect you and your well-being, you can then go through a second appraisal.
In this assessment, you think about how you can control what's happening by asking, "What can I do about this situation?" You also begin to look at the resources you have available for coping with this change, and you start thinking about whether these are sufficient.
Next, make a list of things that might help you through this change. Which of your current skills will help you to succeed? Do you have a skill or knowledge gap that might hinder your ability to navigate this change? And do you need additional training?
Also, do your best to find out more about this change. Be proactive, ask for news and updates, and make sure that you share what you learn with your colleagues. This will help them feel informed and comfortable, but might also prevent the spread of rumors, which can lower morale and engagement.

Tip:
Consider becoming a "change agent" – an active supporter and promoter of the change. If you do this well, it can mark you out as a "rising star" in your organization.

3. Coping Efforts


Your coping efforts determine how well you handle the situation. This is where control coping and escape coping strategies often come into play.
It's important to avoid common escape coping strategies, like drinking too much alcohol, lashing out emotionally, and other negative behaviors. Instead, focus on control coping, and think about how you can take control of this situation and create a positive outcome for yourself and for the people around you.
People who have a positive outlook find it much easier to engage in control coping. So, use positive thinking techniques like Affirmationsand Visualization to foresee a great outcome.
Next, keep up-to-date with what your colleagues are going through. If this change affects them as well, ask them how they're coping. Often, reaching out and trying to help others can also help you cope more effectively. Our article on coaching through change has many strategies that you can use to help your colleagues and team members cope.
Remember to take time for yourself. If you're going through a major organizational change such as a promotion, takeover, or acquisition, you might feel pressured to work longer hours, especially if your job is at risk. This is often appropriate, however, it's essential to take time out during the day to eat healthy foods, get some exercise, and de-stress; and it's also important to remember to relax after a hard day's work.
Last, try to maintain a positive outlook about the situation. Even if a change seems negative at first, there's often a positive outcome if you take the time to find it. Only you can decide whether you'll grow from the situation, or let it affect you negatively.

Tip:
See our article on the 
Change Curve to learn about another approach for helping people through change. Where change is significant, you can use this model to guide people through the stages of denial, anger, acceptance, and commitment that they might experience.

KEY POINTS

In today's workplace, change occurs regularly. These changes can be small or large, and knowing how to cope with them effectively is essential to your career, as well as for your health and well-being.
Lazarus and Folkman's Transactional Model of Stress and Coping provides a useful framework for appraising your situation, and for coping with the anticipated outcome. It outlines three stages of coping:
1.            Primary appraisal – where you assess the risks and opportunities that come with the change.
2.            Secondary appraisal – where you plan how you'll adapt to, and, if appropriate, support the change.
3.            Coping efforts – where you take control of the situation.
Overall, it's important that you maintain a positive attitude to change, where you sensibly should. This will help you cope with the situation, and grow from the experience.


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+ Coping is generally considered to be a process by which an individual attempts to minimize the negative emotions that arise from the experience of negative events. The exact nature of these emotions is a result of the individual's cognitive appraisal of the precipitating event. Despite the wide acknowledgement of this process, including Lazarus and Folkman's seminal work of the 1980s into stress, appraisals and coping, and Lazarus's more recent cognitive-motivational-relational theory of emotion (Lazarus, 1991, 1999), the relationship between emotions, cognitive appraisals, and the nature of coping efforts has, to some extent, seemingly been overlooked.
Appraisal models of emotions (e.g. Frijda, 1986; Lazarus, 1991, 1999; Roseman, Spindel, & Jose, 1990) propose that emotions arise from the evaluation of an event's impact on valued goals. Smith and Lazarus (1993) identified two categories of appraisal that influence emotion. Primary appraisal assesses the personal relevance of a situation (its motivational relevance) and the extent to which the situation is in keeping with personal goals (its motivational congruence). These identify the situation's valence: negative situations, for example, are characterized by motivational relevance and motivational incongruence. Secondary appraisal evaluates coping options and outcomes, and includes accountability (who/what is responsible for the situation), future expectancy (likelihood of change), problem-focused coping potential (options for influencing the situation), and emotion-focused coping potential (ability to emotionally adapt to the situation). Secondary appraisal combines with primary appraisal to determine the emotion aroused (see Griner & Smith, 2000). For example, anger is characterized by other-accountability, guilt by self-accountability, and anxiety by pessimistic/uncertain emotion-focused coping potential. Smith and Lazarus (1993) found strong support for the expected appraisal configurations of these emotions.
Coping is motivated by emotion, but is also influenced by appraisal (Lazarus, 1991). According to Lazarus, secondary appraisal involves, at least in part, an evaluation of coping options and as a consequence should influence the type of coping strategies an individual adopts. Appraisal may influence coping by directing attention towards certain environmental features or opportunities as well as internal characteristics (such as self-efficacy beliefs).
Because appraisal may influence both emotional and coping responses, appraisal forms an important link in the adjustment process. Previous appraisal-coping research has tended to examine appraisals as either evaluations unrelated to specific emotions, or used measures of emotions (e.g. harm/loss, threat, challenge) as proxy indicators of appraisal (see Lazarus & Folkman, 1987). In general keeping with the approach advocated by Perrewe and Zellors (1999), we drew on Smith and Lazarus' model of emotions to examine coping reactions with an organizational setting.
>>http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-109221226.html

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaIn psychology, coping is "constantly changing cognitive and behavioral efforts to manage specific external and/or internal demands that are appraised as taxing"[1] or "exceeding the resources of the person".[2]


Coping is thus expending conscious effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems, and seeking to master, minimize or tolerate stress or conflict.[3][4][5] Psychological coping mechanisms are commonly termed coping strategies or coping skills. Unconscious or non conscious strategies (e.g., defense mechanisms) are generally excluded. The term coping generally refers to adaptive or constructive coping strategies, i.e., the strategies reduce stress levels. However, some coping strategies can be considered maladaptive, i.e., stress levels increase. Maladaptive coping can thus be described, in effect, as non-coping. Furthermore, the term coping generally refers to reactive coping, i.e., the coping response follows the stressor. This contrasts with proactive coping, in which a coping response aims to head off a future stressor.
Coping responses are partly controlled by personality (habitual traits), but also partly by the social context, particularly the nature of the stressful environment.[6]

TRANSACTIONAL MODEL OF STRESS AND COPING

coping with stressful events

History and Orientation
Stressors are demands made by the internal or external environment that upset balance, thus affecting physical and psychological well-being and requiring action to restore balance (Lazarus & Cohen, 1977). Beginning in the 1960s and 1970s, stress was considered to be a transactional phenomenon dependant on the meaning of the stimulus to the perceiver (Lazarus, 1966; Antonovsky, 1979).

Core Assumptions and Statements
The Transactional Model of Stress and Coping is a framework for evaluating the processes of coping with stressful events. Stressful experiences are construed as person-environment transactions. These transactions depend on the impact of the external stressor. This is mediated by firstly the person’s appraisal of the stressor and secondly on the social and cultural resources at his or her disposal (Lazarus & Cohen, 1977; Antonovsky & Kats, 1967; Cohen 1984).
When faced with a stressor, a person evaluates the potential threat (primary appraisal). Primary appraisal is a person’s judgment about the significance of an event as stressful, positive, controllable, challenging or irrelevant. Facing a stressor, the second appraisal follows, which is an assessment of people’s coping resources and options (Cohen, 1984). Secondary appraisals address what one can do about the situation. Actual coping efforts aimed at regulation of the problem give rise to outcomes of the coping process. In the table below the key constructs of the Transaction Model of Stress and Coping are summarized.

Concept
Definition
Primary Appraisal
Evaluation of the significance of a stressor or threatening event.
Secondary Appraisal
Evaluation of the controllability of the stressor and a person’s coping resources.
Coping efforts
Actual strategies used to mediate primary and secondary appraisals.
Problem management
Strategies directed at changing a stressful situation.
Emotional regulation
Strategies aimed at changing the way one thinks or feels about a stressful situation.
Meaning-based coping
Coping processes that induce positive emotion, which in turn sustains the coping process by allowing reenactment of problem- or emotion focused coping.
Outcomes of coping
Emotional well-being, functional status, health behaviors.
Dispositional coping styles
Generalized ways of behaving that can affect a person’s emotional or functional reaction to a stressor; relatively stable across time and situations.
Optimism
Tendency to have generalized positive expectancies for outcomes.
Information Seeking
Attentional styles that are vigilant (monitoring) versus those that involve avoidance (blunting)


Table from Glanz et al, 2002, p. 214.


Conceptual Model
See Glanz et al, 2002, p. 215.

Favorite Methods
Surveys, experiments and quasi-experiments are used.
Glanz et al (2002) use therapeutically techniques as well. Techniques such as biofeedback, relaxation and visual imagery are used. Biofeedback aims to develop awareness and control of responses to stressors. Furthermore, biofeedback reduces stress and tension in response to everyday situations. Relaxation techniques use a constant mental stimulus, passive attitude and a quiet environment. Techniques that are used are relaxation training, hypnosis and yoga. Visual imagery is a technique used for improving the mood of a person and improving coping skills. This can be done for example with visualizing host defenses destroying tumor cells.

Scope and Application
The Transactional Model of Stress and Coping is useful for health education, health promotion and disease prevention (see the example below for explanation). Stress does not affect all people equally, but stress can lead to illness and negative experiences. Coping with stress is therefore an important factor, it affects whether and how people search for medical care and social support and how they believe the advice of the professionals.

Example
For understanding determinants of lifestyle of a cancer patient a variety of treatments are needed. This treatment should contain primary appraisals, secondary appraisals and specific coping strategies. Primary appraisals in this example are perceptions of risk of recurrence. Secondary appraisals can be self-efficacy in adopting health behavior recommendations. Specific coping strategies such as problem-focused coping, emotion-focused coping and meaning-based coping can be used (Glanz et al, 2002). These assessments could provide useful information about appraisals that facilitate or hinder lifestyle practices. Such information would be useful for interventions such as motivational messages and coping skills training techniques.

References
Key publications
Glanz, K., Rimer, B.K. & Lewis, F.M. (2002). Health Behavior and Health Education. Theory, Research and Practice.San Fransisco: Wiley & Sons.
Lazarus, R.S. (1966). Psychological Stress and the Coping Process. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Antonovsky, A. (1979). Health, Stress, and Coping. San Fransisco: Jossey-Bass.
Antonovsky, A. & Kats, R. (1967). “The Life Crisis History as a Tool in Epidemiologic Research”. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 8, 15-20.
Cohen, F. (1984). “Coping” In J.D. Matarazzo, S.M. Weiss, J.A. Herd, N.E. Miller & S.M. Weiss (eds.), Behavioral Health: A Handbook of Health Enhancement and Disease Prevention. New York: Wiley, 1984.
Lazarus, R.S. & Cohen, J.B. (1977). “Environmental Stress”. In I. Altman and J.F. Wohlwill (eds.), Human Behavior and Environment. (Vol 2) New York: Plenum.



+ SWOT Analysis is a useful technique for understanding your Strengths and Weaknesses, and for identifying both the Opportunities open to you and the Threats you face.
Used in a business context, a SWOT Analysis helps you carve a sustainable niche in your market. Used in a personal context, it helps you develop your career in a way that takes best advantage of your talents, abilities and opportunities. (Clickhere for Business SWOT Analysis, and here for Personal SWOT Analysis.)

Business SWOT Analysis

What makes SWOT particularly powerful is that, with a little thought, it can help you uncover opportunities that you are well placed to exploit. And by understanding the weaknesses of your business, you can manage and eliminate threats that would otherwise catch you unawares.
More than this, by looking at yourself and your competitors using the SWOT framework, you can start to craft a strategy that helps you distinguish yourself from your competitors, so that you can compete successfully in your market.

How to Use SWOT Analysis

Originated by Albert S Humphrey in the 1960s, SWOT Analysis is as useful now as it was then. You can use it in two ways - as a simple icebreaker helping people get together to "kick off" strategy formulation, or in a more sophisticated way as a serious strategy tool.
Tip:
Strengths and weaknesses are often internal to your organization, while opportunities and threats generally relate to external factors. For this reason the SWOT Analysis is sometimes called Internal-External Analysis and the SWOT Matrix is sometimes called an IE Matrix.
To help you to carry out a SWOT Analysis, download and print off our freeworksheet, and write down answers to the following questions.

Strengths:

  • What advantages does your organization have?
  • What do you do better than anyone else?
  • What unique or lowest-cost resources can you draw upon that others can't?
  • What do people in your market see as your strengths?
  • What factors mean that you "get the sale"?
  • What is your organization's Unique Selling Proposition (USP)?
Consider your strengths from both an internal perspective, and from the point of view of your customers and people in your market.
Also, if you're having any difficulty identifying strengths, try writing down a list of your organization's characteristics. Some of these will hopefully be strengths!
When looking at your strengths, think about them in relation to your competitors. For example, if all of your competitors provide high quality products, then a high quality production process is not a strength in your organization's market, it's a necessity.

Weaknesses:

  • What could you improve?
  • What should you avoid?
  • What are people in your market likely to see as weaknesses?
  • What factors lose you sales?
Again, consider this from an internal and external basis: Do other people seem to perceive weaknesses that you don't see? Are your competitors doing any better than you?
It's best to be realistic now, and face any unpleasant truths as soon as possible.

Opportunities:

  • What good opportunities can you spot?
  • What interesting trends are you aware of?
Useful opportunities can come from such things as:
  • Changes in technology and markets on both a broad and narrow scale.
  • Changes in government policy related to your field.
  • Changes in social patterns, population profiles, lifestyle changes, and so on.
  • Local events.

Tip:
A useful approach when looking at opportunities is to look at your strengths and ask yourself whether these open up any opportunities. Alternatively, look at your weaknesses and ask yourself whether you could open up opportunities by eliminating them.

Threats

  • What obstacles do you face?
  • What are your competitors doing?
  • Are quality standards or specifications for your job, products or services changing?
  • Is changing technology threatening your position?
  • Do you have bad debt or cash-flow problems?
  • Could any of your weaknesses seriously threaten your business?


Risk Analysis Almost all of the things that we do at work involve risk of some kind, but it can sometimes be challenging to identify risk, let alone to prepare for it.
Risk Analysis helps you understand risk, so that you can manage it, and minimize disruption to your plans. Risk Analysis also helps you control risk in a cost-effective way.
In this article, we'll look at how you can identify and manage risk effectively.

What is Risk Analysis?

Risk Analysis helps you identify and manage potential problems that could undermine key business initiatives or projects.
Risk is made up of two things: the probability of something going wrong, and the negative consequences that will happen if it does.
You carry out a Risk Analysis by first identifying the possible threats that you face, and by then estimating the likelihood that these threats will materialize.
Risk Analysis can be quite involved, and it's useful in a variety of situations. To do an in-depth analysis, you'll need to draw on detailed information such as project plans, financial data, security protocols, marketing forecasts, or other relevant information.

When to Use Risk Analysis

Risk analysis is useful in many situations, for example, when you're:
  • Planning projects, to help you anticipate and neutralize possible problems.
  • Deciding whether or not to move forward with a project.
  • Improving safety and managing potential risks in the workplace.
  • Preparing for events such as equipment or technology failure, theft, staff sickness, or natural disasters.
  • Planning for changes in your environment, such as new competitors coming into the market, or changes to government policy.

How to Use Risk Analysis

To carry out a risk analysis, follow these steps:

1. Identify Threats

The first step in Risk Analysis is to identify the existing and possible threats that you might face. These can come from many different sources. For instance:
  • Human - from illness, death, injury, or other loss of a key individual.
  • Operational - from disruption to supplies and operations, loss of access to essential assets, or failures in distribution.
  • Reputational - from loss of customer or employee confidence, or damage to market reputation.
  • Procedural - from failures of accountability, internal systems and controls; or from fraud.
  • Project - from going over budget, taking too long on key tasks, or experiencing issues with product or service quality.
  • Financial - from business failure, stock market fluctuations, interest rate changes, or non-availability of funding.
  • Technical - from advances in technology, or from technical failure.
  • Natural - from weather, natural disasters, or disease.
  • Political - from changes in tax, public opinion, government policy, or foreign influence.
  • Structural - from dangerous chemicals, poor lighting, falling boxes, or any situation where staff, products, or technology can be harmed.
It's easy to overlook important threats, so make sure that you do as thorough an analysis as you can. You can use a number of different approaches to do this:
  • Run through a list such as the one above to see if any of these threats are relevant.
  • Think about the systems, processes, or structures that you use, and analyze risks to any part of these. Then, see if you can spot any vulnerabilities within them.
  • Ask others who might have different perspectives. If you're leading a team, ask for input from your people, and consult other people in your organization or those who have run similar projects.
Tools such as SWOT Analysis and PEST Analysis can also help you uncover threats, while Scenario Analysis helps you explore threats that you might encounter in the "different futures" that your organization might face.

2. Estimate Risk

Once you've identified the threats you're facing, you need to work out both the likelihood of these threats being realized, and their possible impact.
One way of doing this is to make your best estimate of the probability of the event occurring, and then multiply this by the amount it will cost you to set things right if it happens. This gives you a value for the risk:
Risk Value = Probability of Event x Cost of Event
As a simple example, let's say that you've identified a risk that your rent may increase substantially.
You think that there's an 80 percent chance of this happening within the next year, because your landlord has recently increased rents for other businesses. If this happens, it will cost your business an extra $500,000 over the next year.
So the risk value of the rent increase is:
0.80 (Probability of Event) x $500,000 (Cost of Event) = $400,000 (Risk Value)
You can also use a Risk Impact/Probability Chart to assess risk. By using these charts, you can quickly identify which risks you need to focus on.

Tip:
Don't rush this step. Gather as much information as you can so that you can estimate the probability of an event occurring, and its costs, as accurately as possible. Probabilities are particularly hard to assess: where you can, base these on past data.

3. Manage Risk

Once you've identified the value of the risks you face, you can start to look at ways of managing them.
When you do this, it's important to choose cost-effective approaches - in many cases, there's no point in spending more to eliminate a risk than the cost of the event if it occurs. So, it may be better to accept the risk than it is to use excessive resources to eliminate it. Be sensible in how you apply this, though, especially if this involves ethical decisions or affects people's safety.
You can manage risks by:
  • Using existing assets - this may involve reusing or redeploying existing equipment, improving existing methods and systems, changing people's responsibilities, improving accountability and internal controls, and so on.
  • You can also manage risks by adding or changing things. For instance, you could do this by choosing different materials, by improving safety procedures or safety gear, or by adding a layer of security to your organization's IT systems.
  • Developing a contingency plan - this is where you accept a risk, but develop a plan to minimize its effects if it happens.
  • A good contingency plan will allow you to take action immediately, and with the minimum of project control, if you find yourself in a crisis. Contingency plans also form a key part of Business Continuity Planning (BCP) or Business Continuity Management (BCM).
  • Investing in new resources - your Risk Analysis will help you decide whether you need to bring in additional resources to counter the risk. This can include insuring the risk - this is particularly important where the risk is so great that it can threaten your solvency.
  • You might also want to develop a procedural prevention plan. This defines the activities that need to take place every day, week, month, or year to monitor or mitigate the risks you've identified. For example, you may want to arrange a daily backup of computer files, yearly testing of your building's sprinkler system, or a monthly check on your organization's security system.

4. Review

Once you've carried out a Risk Analysis and have managed risks appropriately, conduct regular reviews. This is because the costs and impacts of some risks may change, other risks may become obsolete, and new risks may appear.
These reviews may involve re-doing your Risk Analysis, as well as testing systems and plans appropriately.

Key Points

Risk Analysis is a proven way of identifying and assessing factors that could negatively affect the success of a business or project. It allows you to examine the risks that you or your organization face, and decide whether or not to move forward with a decision.
You do a Risk Analysis by identify threats, and by then estimating the likelihood of those threats being realized.
Once you've worked out the value of the risks you face, you can start looking at ways to manage them effectively. This may include using existing assets, developing a contingency plan, or investing in new resources.
Be thorough with your Risk Analysis, and be sensible with how you apply your findings.


+ Impact Analysis When things change in your organization, do you ever wish that someone would think things through a little better to avoid the confusion and disruption that often follows?

Or have you ever been involved in a project where, with hindsight, a great deal of pain could have been avoided with a little more up-front preparation and planning?
Hindsight is a wonderful thing –but so, too, is Impact Analysis. This technique is a useful and severely under-used brainstorming technique that helps you think through the full impacts of a proposed change. As such, it is an essential part of the evaluation process for major decisions.
More than this, it gives you the ability to spot problems before they arise, so that you can develop contingency plans to handle issues smoothly. This can make the difference between well-controlled and seemingly-effortless project management, and an implementation that is seen by your boss, team, clients and peers as a shambles.

About the Tool

Impact Analysis is a technique designed to unearth the "unexpected" negative effects of a change on an organization.
It provides a structured approach for looking at a proposed change, so that you can identify as many of the negative impacts or consequences of the change as possible. Firstly, this makes it an important tool for evaluating whether you want to run a project. Secondly, and once the decision to go ahead has been made, it helps you prepare for and manage any serious issues that may arise.
All too often organizations do not undertake Impact Analysis. This is one reason that so many projects end in failure, as unforeseen consequences wreak havoc.

The Challenge of Impact Analysis

The challenge in conducting an Impact Analysis is firstly to capture and structure all the likely consequences of a decision; and then, importantly, to ensure that these are managed appropriately.
For smaller decisions, it can be conducted as a desk exercise. For larger or more risky decisions, it is best conducted with an experienced team, ideally with people from different functional backgrounds within the organization: With a team like this, you're much more likely to spot all of the consequences of a decision than if you conduct the analysis on your own.

How to use Impact Analysis

To conduct an effective Impact Analysis, use the following steps:

1. Prepare for Impact Analysis

The first step is to gather a good team, with access to the right information sources. Make sure that the project or solution proposed is clearly defined, and that everyone involved in the assessment is clearly briefed as to what is proposed and the problems that it is intended to address.

2. Brainstorm Major Areas Affected

Now brainstorm the major areas affected by the decision or project, and think about whom or what it might affect.
Different organizations will have different areas – this is why it's worth spending a little time getting this top level brainstorming correct.
Figure 1 below shows a number of different approaches that may be useful as starting points for identifying the areas that apply to you.

Figure 1: Impact Analysis – Major Areas Affected
This figure gives a number of different frameworks that you can use as a starting point for Impact Analysis brainstorming. Pick the framework that's most relevant for you, "mix and match" them appropriately, and include other areas where they're more relevant.
And remember as far as you can to involve the people most likely to be affected by the decision: They'll most-likely have more insight into the consequences of the decision than you have.
A. Organizational Approach:
  • Impacts on different departments.
  • Impacts on different business processes.
  • Impacts on different customer groups.
  • Impacts on different groups of people.
B. McKinsey 7Ss Approach:
Using the popular "McKinsey 7Ss" approach to thinking about the things that are important to an organization:
  • Strategy
  • Structure
  • Systems
  • Shared Values
  • Skills
  • Styles
  • Staff
C. Tools-Based Approach:
There's a lot of overlap here between Impact Analysis and some of the other tools we explain on Mind Tools, particularly Risk AnalysisRisk/Impact Probability Charts and Stakeholder Analysis.
You can use the headings given within the Risk Analysis article as one set of starting points for brainstorming, and use Stakeholder Analysis for thinking about the people who might be affected by the decision.

3. Identify All Areas

Now, for each of the major areas identified, brainstorm all of the different elements that could be affected. For example, if you're looking at departments, list all of the departments in your organization. If you're looking at processes, map out the business processes you operate, starting with the process the customer experiences, then moving on to the business processes that support this.
The extent to which you're able to do this depends on the scale of the decision and the time available. Just make sure you go far enough, without getting bogged down in micro-detail.

4. Evaluate Impacts

Having listed all of the groups of people and everything that will be affected in an appropriate level of detail, the next step is to work through these lists identifying and listing the possible negative and positive impacts of the decision, and making an estimate of the size of the impact and the consequences of the decision.

5. Manage the Consequences

Now's the time to turn this information into action.
If you're using Impact Analysis as part of the decision making process, you need to weigh whether you want to go ahead with the project or decision proposed. You'll need to ask yourself whether it's worth going ahead with the project given the negative consequences it will cause and given the cost of managing those negative consequences.
If you're managing a project which has already been given the go-ahead, you'll need to think about things like:
  • The actions you'll need to take to manage or mitigate these consequences.
  • How you'll prepare the people affected so that they'll understand and (ideally) support change rather than fighting against it.
  • The contingency strategy needed to manage the situation should the negative consequences arise.
Tip:
Remember that few changes happen in isolation. The effects they cause can be diminished or amplified by other things that are going on. When you are thinking about impacts, think about the context you're operating in, and also think about how people might react to the change and work with it or against it.


Managing Your Emotions at Work
Controlling Your Feelings... Before They Control You


Everything can be taken from a man but the last of human freedoms – the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose one's way.
– Viktor Frankl, 'Man's Search for Meaning'

We've all been in one of 'those' situations before. You know... when your favorite project is cancelled after weeks of hard work; when a customer snaps at you unfairly; when your best friend (and co-worker) is laid off suddenly; or your boss assigns you more work when you're already overloaded.
In your personal life, your reaction to stressful situations like these might be to start shouting, or to go hide in a corner and feel sorry for yourself for a while. But at work, these types of behavior could seriously harm your professional reputation, as well as your productivity.
Stressful situations are all too common in a workplace that's facing budget cuts, staff layoffs, and department changes. It may become harder and harder to manage your emotions under these circumstances, but it's even more important for you to do so. After all, if management is forced into making more layoffs, they may choose to keep those who can handle their emotions, and work well under pressure. As the above quote shows, no matter what the situation is, you're always free to choose how you react to it.
So, how can you become better at handling your emotions, and 'choosing' your reactions to bad situations? In this article, we look at the most common negative emotions experienced in the workplace – and how you can manage them productively.
Why are we focusing only on negative emotions? Well, most people don't need strategies for managing their positive emotions. After all, feelings of joy, excitement, compassion, or optimism usually don't affect others in a negative way. As long as you share positive emotions constructively and professionally, they're great to have in the workplace!

Common Negative Emotions at Work

In 1997, Bond University professor of management Cynthia Fisher conducted a study called 'Emotions at Work: What Do People Feel, and How Should We Measure It?'
According to Fisher's research, the most common negative emotions experienced in the workplace are as follows:
  • Frustration/irritation.
  • Worry/nervousness.
  • Anger/aggravation.
  • Dislike.
  • Disappointment/unhappiness.
Below are different strategies you can use to help you deal with each of these negative emotions.

Frustration/Irritation

Frustration usually occurs when you feel stuck or trapped, or unable to move forward in some way. It could be caused by a colleague blocking your favorite project, a boss who is too disorganized to get to your meeting on time, or simply being on hold on the phone for a long time.
Whatever the reason, it's important to deal with feelings of frustration quickly, because they can easily lead to more negative emotions, such as anger.
Here are some suggestions for dealing with frustration:
  • Stop and evaluate – One of the best things you can do is mentally stop yourself, and look at the situation. Ask yourself why you feel frustrated. Write it down, and be specific. Then think of one positive thing about your current situation. For instance, if your boss is late for your meeting, then you have more time to prepare. Or, you could use this time to relax a little.
  • Find something positive about the situation – Thinking about a positive aspect of your situation often makes you look at things in a different way. This small change in your thinking can improve your mood. When it's people who are causing your frustration, they're probably not doing it deliberately to annoy you. And if it's a thing that's bothering you – well, it's certainly not personal! Don't get mad, just move on.
  • Remember the last time you felt frustrated – The last time you were frustrated about something, the situation probably worked out just fine after a while, right? Your feelings of frustration or irritation probably didn't do much to solve the problem then, which means they're not doing anything for you right now.

Worry/Nervousness

With all the fear and anxiety that comes with increasing numbers of layoffs, it's no wonder that many people worry about their jobs. But this worry can easily get out of control, if you allow it, and this can impact not only your mental health, but also your productivity, and your willingness to take risks at work.
Try these tips to deal with worrying:
  • Don't surround yourself with worry and anxiety – For example, if co-workers gather in the break room to gossip and talk about job cuts, then don't go there and worry with everyone else. Worrying tends to lead to more worrying, and that isn't good for anyone.
  • Try deep-breathing exercises – This helps slow your breathing and your heart rate. Breathe in slowly for five seconds, then breathe out slowly for five seconds. Focus on your breathing, and nothing else. Do this at least five times. For more on this, read Physical Relaxation Techniques.
  • Focus on how to improve the situation – If you fear being laid off, and you sit there and worry, that probably won't help you keep your job. Instead, why not brainstorm ways to bring in more business, and show how valuable you are to the company?
  • Write down your worries in a worry log – If you find that worries are churning around inside your mind, write them down in a notebook or 'worry log,' and then schedule a time to deal with them. Before that time, you can forget about these worries, knowing that you'll deal with them. When it comes to the time you've scheduled, conduct a proper risk analysis around these things, and take whatever actions are necessary to mitigate any risks.
When you're worried and nervous about something, it can dent your self-confidence. Read our article on Building Self-Confidence to make sure this doesn't happen. Also, don't let your worries get in the way of being appropriately assertive.

Anger/Aggravation

Out-of-control anger is perhaps the most destructive emotion that people experience in the workplace. It's also the emotion that most of us don't handle very well. If you have trouble managing your temper at work, then learning to control it is one of the best things you can do if you want to keep your job.
Try these suggestions to control your anger:
  • Watch for early signs of anger – Only you know the danger signs when anger is building, so learn to recognize them when they begin. Stopping your anger early is key. Remember, you can choose how you react in a situation. Just because your first instinct is to become angry doesn't mean it's the correct response.
  • If you start to get angry, stop what you're doing – Close your eyes, and practice the deep-breathing exercise we described earlier. This interrupts your angry thoughts, and it helps put you back on a more positive path.
  • Picture yourself when you're angry – If you imagine how you look and behave while you're angry, it gives you some perspective on the situation. For instance, if you're about to shout at your co-worker, imagine how you would look. Is your face red? Are you waving your arms around? Would you want to work with someone like that? Probably not.
To find out more about managing your anger at work, take our self-test How Good Is Your Anger Management? Also, read Dealing with Unfair Criticism and Anger Management.

Dislike

We've probably all had to work with someone we don't like. But it's important to be professional, no matter what.
Here are some ideas for working with people you dislike:
  • Be respectful – If you have to work with someone you don't get along with, then it's time to set aside your pride and ego. Treat the person with courtesy and respect, as you would treat anyone else. Just because this person behaves in an unprofessional manner, that doesn't mean you should as well.
  • Be assertive – If the other person is rude and unprofessional, then firmly explain that you refuse to be treated that way, and calmly leave the situation. Remember, set the example.
To learn more about handling dislike in the workplace, please see Dealing with Difficult People and Egos at Work.

Disappointment/Unhappiness

Dealing with disappointment or unhappiness at work can be difficult. Of all the emotions you might feel at work, these are the most likely to impact your productivity. If you've just suffered a major disappointment, your energy will probably be low, you might be afraid to take another risk, and all of that may hold you back from achieving.
Here are some proactive steps you can take to cope with disappointment and unhappiness:
  • Look at your mindset – Take a moment to realize that things won't always go your way. If they did, life would be a straight road instead of one with hills and valleys, ups and downs, right? And it's the hills and valleys that often make life so interesting.
  • Adjust your goal – If you're disappointed that you didn't reach a goal, that doesn't mean the goal is no longer reachable. Keep the goal, but make a small change – for example, delay the deadline.
  • Our Back On Track article provides practical steps for recovering from a major career setback.
  • Record your thoughts – Write down exactly what is making you unhappy. Is it a co-worker? Is it your job? Do you have too much to do? Once you identify the problem, start brainstorming ways to solve it or work around it. Remember, you always have the power to change your situation.
  • Smile! – Strange as it may sound, forcing a smile – or even a grimace – onto your face can often make you feel happy (this is one of the strange ways in which we humans are 'wired.') Try it – you may be surprised!

Key Points

We all have to deal with negative emotions at work sometimes, and learning how to cope with these feelings is now more important than ever. After all, negative emotions can spread, and no one wants to be around a person who adds negativity to a group.
Know what causes your negative emotions, and which types of feelings you face most often. When those emotions begin to appear, immediately start your strategy to interrupt the cycle. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to pull yourself away from negative thinking.


Thought Awareness, Rational Thinking, and Positive Thinking


Quite often, the way we feel about a situation comes from our perception of it. Often that perception is right, but sometimes it isn't.
For instance, sometimes we're unreasonably harsh with ourselves, or we can jump to wrong conclusion about people's motives. This can cause problems and make us unhappy, and it can lead us to be unfair to others.
Thought Awareness, Rational Thinking, and Positive Thinking are simple tools that help you turn this around.

Introduction

A commonly accepted definition of stress, developed by Richard S. Lazarus, is that it occurs when someone thinks that the demands on them "exceed the personal and social resources that the individual is able to mobilize."
In becoming stressed, people must make two main judgments:
  1. First, they must feel threatened by the situation.
  2. They must judge whether their capabilities and resources are sufficient to meet the threat.
How stressed someone feels depends on how much damage they think the situation can cause them, and how far their resources meet the demands of the situation.
Perception is key to this as (technically) situations are not stressful in their own right. Rather it's our interpretation of the situation that drives the level of stress that we feel. Quite obviously, sometimes we are right in what we say to ourselves. Some situations may actually be dangerous, and may threaten us physically, socially, or in our career. Here, stress and emotion are part of the "early warning system" that alerts us to the threat from these situations.
Very often, however, we are overly harsh and unjust to ourselves, in a way that we would never be with friends or team members. This, along with other negative thinking, can cause intense stress and unhappiness, and can severely undermine our self-confidence.

Using the Tools

Thought Awareness

You're thinking negatively when you fear the future, put yourself down, criticize yourself for errors, doubt your abilities, or expect failure. Negative thinking damages your confidence, harms your performance, and paralyzes your mental skills.
A major problem with this is that negative thoughts tend to flit into our consciousness, do their damage and flit back out again, with their significance having barely been noticed. Since we do not challenge them, they can be completely incorrect and wrong. However, this does not diminish their harmful effect.
Thought Awareness is the process by which you observe your thoughts and become aware of what is going through your head.
One way to become more aware of your thoughts is to observe your stream of consciousness as you think about a stressful situation. Do not suppress any thoughts: instead, just let them run their course while you watch them, and write them down on our free worksheet as they occur.
Another more general approach to Thought Awareness comes with logging stress in a Stress Diary. One of the benefits of using a Stress Diary is that, for one or two weeks, you log all of the unpleasant things in your life that cause you stress. This will include negative thoughts and anxieties, and can also include difficult or unpleasant memories and situations that you perceive as negative.
By logging your negative thoughts for a reasonable period of time, you can quickly see patterns in your negative thinking. When you analyze your diary at the end of the period, you should be able to see the most common and most damaging thoughts. Tackle these as a priority.
Thought awareness is the first step in the process of managing negative thoughts, as you can only manage thoughts that you're aware of.

Rational Thinking

The next step in dealing with negative thinking is to challenge the negative thoughts that you identified using the Thought Awareness technique. Look at every thought you wrote down and rationally challenge it. Ask yourself whether the thought is reasonable, and does it stand up to fair scrutiny?
As an example, by analyzing your Stress Diary you might identify that you have frequently had the following negative thoughts:
  • Feelings of inadequacy.
  • Worries that your performance in your job will not be good enough.
  • An anxiety that things outside your control will undermine your efforts.
  • Worries about other people's reactions to your work.
Starting with these, you might challenge these negative thoughts in the ways shown:
  • Feelings of inadequacy: Have you trained and educated yourself as well as you reasonably should to do the job? Do you have the experience and resources you need to do it? Have you planned, prepared and rehearsed appropriately? If you've done all of this, then you've done everything that you should sensible do. If you're still worried, are you setting yourself unattainably high standards for doing the job?
  • Worries about performance: Do you have the training that a reasonable person would think is needed to do a good job? Have you planned appropriately? Do you have the information and resources that you need? Have you cleared the time you need, and cued up your support team appropriately? Have you prepared thoroughly? If you haven't, then you need to do these things quickly. If you have, then you are well positioned to give the best performance that you can.
  • Problems with issues outside your control: Have you conducted appropriate contingency planning? Have you thought through and managed all likely risks and contingencies appropriately? If so, you will be well prepared to handle potential problems.
  • Worry about other people's reactions: If you have put in good preparation, and you do the best you can, then that is all that you need to know. If you perform as well as you reasonably can, and you stay focused on the needs of your audience, then fair people are likely to respond well. If people are not fair, then this is something outside your control.
Tip:
Don't make the mistake of generalizing a single incident. OK, you made a mistake at work, but that doesn't mean that you're bad at your job.
Similarly, make sure you take the long view about incidents that you're finding stressful. Just because you're finding new responsibilities stressful now, doesn't mean that they will always be stressful in the future.